Kalyug ka Pandit- I

After this post, perhaps I will abscond from India. Right Wing believers will issue a fatwa in my name, for sure. But that’s ok I will take my chances. The story which is described below is hazy and ambiguous in its source. So, I think I should get benefit of doubt.

Well, to clarify first, rather than saying I am a theist, I would say I am not an atheist.

This post is an alternative view of--- how God should have done?

These views are not my views, Pandit Ji will tell the tale with his alternative explanation/ interpretation. Now there is this problem with our Pandit ji. He got disillusioned long time back. Well this incident dates back to his childhood. Once as a kid, he tried to show the whole world “the saint” inside him but then... Alas!.... Someone at the last moment interrupted, and forcefully applied mascara on his face and crowned him. That day Pandit Ji cried his heart out. Today, lets give The Disillusioned Pandit Ji the role which he wanted to do long time back.

I am sure, things would have been different if he was not mascara-ed and crowned that day. Anyways, to know the consequence of this “reverse fairy tale”… u can read the conversation:

Me: u there?

? …………….

Pandit ji: sorry some one was talking to me abt hanuman

me: WHO

hanuman!!!!

WHY?

Pandit ji: …

...

im actually in the diwali mode

i have to get into the work mode!

so this person was telling me abt how hanuman had a son

basically hanuman was supposed to be a brahmachari

but what happened the story goes

after burning lanka

his tail was on fire

so he went and swam in the sea

to cool himself off

and he was sweating a lot and so this was taken in by a fish

and fish gave birth to his son it seems

i told him my interpretation

basically he got badly burned

me: so,,,, people don’t excrete sperms when they are burned??

Pandit ji: arre he was found on the shorelines by this hot fisherwoman

he cudnt resist

then basically they did it

and his son was born

so my theory is tht he procreated with a sri lankan woman!

Yaaa

:)

Me: ……..

Pandit ji: and sweating tho happens no..

so basically something else was taken in by the woman

i didnt tell him like tht

but im thinking it

hehehehe

basically look hanuman sweated when he was doing this

something else came out which was taken by the fisherwoman...hot sri lankan woman

and hence his son

me: hahahhahahaaaaaaahahahhahha

hahaahahahahhahahah……

(For readers of this post---

According to Websters Dictionary:

Blasphemy (Blas"phe*my) n. [L. blasphemia, Gr. : cf. OF. blasphemie.]

§ An indignity offered to God in words, writing, or signs; impiously irreverent words or signs addressed to, or used in reference to, God; speaking evil of God; also, the act of claiming the attributes or prerogatives of deity. When used generally in statutes or at common law, blasphemy is the use of irreverent words or signs in reference to the Supreme Being in such a way as to produce scandal or provoke violence.